Lesbionic Agenda Against Marriage

I've been reflecting on marriage since the announcement of two of my close friends engagement...hmmm, yeah you get that. And don't worry, they are both God-fearing Christian-Republicans. Presbyterian to be precise, so they've got that whole Calvinism Predestination thing for them; which means that because of this we know for sure this engagement and marriage is supposed to happen. But I digress (whatever that means), and wish to talk about the sacred bondage that is marriage. Now, when people hear the word bondage they often get a whole BDSM image in their heads. Combine that with the word sacred and there is no telling what will pop into your head. I mean seriously, our minds have some weird thoughts.

But anyway, marriage.

Christian Marriage is a holy partnership instituted by Jesus. It is the only real kind of marriage. Jewish Marriage actually has some merit, since St. Joseph was Jewish and the Virgin Mary - while a Christian - entered into a Jewish Marriage with him. Meanwhile Jesus was born in Bethlehem, England and raised a Christian by the Virgin Mary. During his life he learned the Torah and all that stuff, and developed the institution we now call Marriage.

Marriage is when a woman is enslaved to a man (or 'bonded') for the rest of her life. Now women, being cunning and deceptive creatures, can occasionally cause men great periods of stress and grief while constantly trying to usurp his God-given authority as head of the family. Therefore, God created pregnancy. Pregnancy was created to keep women busy; distracting them with life growing inside them and the subsequent children as a result. This keeps women complacent and busy with the role of motherhood, while men are free to continue as heads of their household. This has been the make-up of marriage for thousands of years since the birth of Jesus.

However, that sacred bondage is now under attack from Radical Leftist Feminist Lesbians and queerosexuals. This group of people has threatened the very sanctity of marriage with alternative lifestyles and partnerships. The Lesbians and the queerosexual concept of marriage is degenerative, because who is bonded to who? Who is the head of the family? Which on gets pregnant (gay guys can get pregnant, right?) and assumes the bondage role?

We can, of course, blame Anglicans for this problem. Anglicans have always had a screwy view of marriage - look at the guy who founded their church: Henry VIII. The man had six wives and four mistresses over the course of his life. While admirable, this clearly contradicts Jesus' Christian Marriage. We can blame several men for the breakdown of Marriage in Western Society - all of them Anglicans. Thomas Cranmer, the first Protestant Archbishop of Canterbury, was the catalyst for all this. He broke his priestly vow of celibacy and married, and was later killed for it by Queen Mary I (or something along those lines). The next three men were Sir Winston Churchill, a committed Freemason, and his appointments to the Archbishop of Canterbury; William Temple and later Geoffrey Fisher. Both of this so called Christian leaders were Freemasons and liberal Englishmen with ties to the Chinese. Churchill was invested as the Church of England's so-called 'Shadow Pope' and pulled the strings at the Lambeth Conferences into to pave the way for homosexualist marriage. This was attempted to distract people from the War, but his plans came to fruition fifty years too late.

During those fifty years, homosexualist lesbians infiltrated the upper echelons of the Church of England in order to plant powerful lesbians as bishopresses. Barbara Harris became the first bishopress and 'Shadow Popess' of the C of E. Using a concentrated dose of rubella, Bishopress Harris killed the reigning Shadow Pope and installed herself as the shadowy ruler of the Anglicans. This powerful cartel of lesbians then began to rewrite the bylaws of Anglican Christian Marriage and pave the way for homosexualist marriage.

You see, Freemasons and queerosexuals are to blame for the crisis affecting the Christian world. Anglicans, too, have been the unwitting pawns in their games of sexual deviancy. I really can't remember the point of all this - I think my negative bias toward Anglicans is showing. The point of this is as such: Grammar is not important when trying to unveil evil plots against Jesus. In the battle against the Lesbian Bishopress Cartel, who really is going to correct their grammar? Certainly not your wives, because they will have all been recruited by the queerosexuals by enticing worlds such as 'equal rights', 'women power', and things like Black & Decker sex tools.